“ Why? Why? WHY?” I kept asking myself this simple question. At this moment, that simple question seemed very very important.
I watched from afar as my cruel step-father hit my sweet, kindhearted mother. My mother kept quiet as she took blow after blow, not once did I see a tear fall down her face. I didn’t understand at the time why my mother refused to show emotion but I understand it now. I understand that she wasn’t going to let him win against her, she was telling him in her own way that he can hurt her, that he could destroy her body but he couldn’t beat her soul.
From that moment onward, I couldn’t look at people the same as I did as a kid. Life as a kid was hard, life as a teenager was terrible, but life a young adult is just horrible. After everything that happened to me as a kid, i didn’t really expect much from anyone anymore. The world isn’t the same anymore after I lost my mom and the home I loved.
My high school teacher was always picking on me for a reason I didn’t know. I wasn’t scared of him, why should I be? What he thought of me meant nothing, nothing to me. “Hey Steelheart!! Pay attention! I know that you are failing this class.” I sighed, this old man is annoying. Pulling my attention away from the open window. I may have said that man didn’t bother me but today I was pissed for no reason and he was asking for my wrath.
After the class ended, I was called up to his desk. “ I need you to pay attention in class, I want you to graduate. This is your last year, and I don’t want to see you again at all.” Silently, I nodded. Though I looked calm to him, my hands were curled into fists and were mostly turning red by now. “Now Ryan, please please turn in your home work from on.” I slammed my hands onto his desk,” I don’t care what you think or what you want, I didn’t ask to come here, I didn’t asked to be put in your class but I was and I’m so tired or being called out for doing nothing,NOTHING to you!” I didn’t notice that my hands were turning silver but I did notice that my teacher was looking at me in horror. “ WHAT!” he raised a hand and pointed at my hands, “ your turning silver!” He replied with a shaking voice. I raised my hands and looked at them closely, for some reason, my hands felt heavy. They weren’t heavy enough that I couldn’t lift them, they were just heavy. Looking back at my teacher, I smirked at him. Lifting my hands above my head, I slammed my hands into his desk. His desk broke into tiny pieces and a bigger smile made its way onto my face. I walked close to him, “ you pissed me off too much and this is the last time that you will.” grabbing him, I lifted him into the air and started to squeeze the life out of him. Soon he fell limp in my hands and at that moments I knew that I had done the thing I had dreamed about doing since the day that i met this man, I killed him. I killed him and I didn’t care and I still don’t.
Shaking my head, I fell out of the memory that I had been captured in. That was the first time I ever killed and the first time that I would I wouldn’t be able to stop hurting others. But just like then, I didn’t care and I still don’t. I believe that I am a better person because of it but then again that is only my opinion. I am no longer the small kid that watched my mother die, I am a much different, stronger person and I love it. I will never be weak again, I refuse to be.