So Autoboyography deals with internalized homophobia as well as the homophobia of the LDS church. Typical LGBT issues. Seeing as the church has always had an issue with the LGBT community, it is hard to say just when this started to be an issue. It was really brought to light in the 70’s and later when it became something spoken out about throughout the country, with pride parades and whatnot and people simply wanting equal rights as homosexual, bisexual, trans, et cetera people. Notable groups I suppose are Mama Dragons, Mormons Building Bridges (I beg to differ), Affirmation, et cetera. There is no particular thing that ties these in, as a lot of the book is self discovery and experiences on Tanner and Sebastian’s parts. It really just highlights the average experience of LGBT kids raised in Moly Mormon homes. I don’t go out of my way to read issue driven novels as I typically read Chinese fantasy which is a wholeeee different thing. The book is pretty good though! I liked them 🙂
So the book I read is called Cognitive-Behavioral Treatement of Borderline Personality Disorder. Essentially, this book details ways in which BPD is treated in therapy. It was written in 1993, so it isn’t exactly particularly fully accurate because this is almost 30 years later. I read this book after it was given to me by my boyfriend. A bit of a weird gift, but they gave it to me because they thought maybe it would help me out as I was diagnosed with BPD at the beginning of the year when I turned 18. It’s helped me become a lot more aware of myself, my habits, et cetera. It’s not something I can get rid of but the book is helping me to become self aware and make it slightly (although not much) easier to cope with. I’d recommend it to anyone interested in psychology or anyone that has or worries that they have BPD as well.
So a lot of the soundtrack was chosen by one of us or the other as we don’t share the same music taste. Autoboyography was an okay book, my boyfriend is actually reading it right now too because I told them I was reading it and it was pretty okay, and they like it so far too. The song that like, stood out to me? Was “When She Sees Me” from Waitress, as it captures the kinda initial feelings of Tanner and his fear of like, Sebastian realizing that Tanner had a giant crush on him. What made me sad was Tanner’s internalized homophobia, seeing as I had an ex like that (it obviously didn’t work out ://) and it just kinda hit close to home. I didn’t really dislike anything about the novel. Anyway here’s a photo of queers cuz it makes me happy
Gonna read Heaven Official’s Blessing by MXTX, since I already started it. It’s technically a series despite being a web novel thing because it was technically 4 separate books I think. I basically chose it since I’m very fond of this author. I was gonna read something by Priest (another chinese novelist) but I don’t think any of their works are a part of a series so. I’ve read part of it but like yeah.
- Finishing a book in a series knowing there’s more
- Rainy day reading sessions
- Repeatedly reading a book and picking up new things every time
- Good fanart
- Candle lit reading nights <3
- When a character reminds me of myself (cuz kinning is a coping mech lmao)
- When a book is relatable in any way
I’m not really sure how to describe how books give me comfort. It’s more of a manner of escape kind of thing, to be perfectly honest. I don’t necessarily get like a comfortable, warm feeling to be honest. It’s like a wide range of emotions depending on the book and the warm feeling depends on like scenes or characters I guess? I’m not particularly… I dunno. But in particular, the books I’ve read that have become a comfort thing recently are Mo Dao Zu Shi, Heaven Official’s Blessing (TGCF), as well as my favorite, Scum Villain’s Self Saving System. They’re all by the same author. They don’t necessarily give me that warm feeling, but I’ve reread them all multiple times (Scum Villain every month or every other month) as a coping thing. I like the familiarity, but I also pick up new things every time I read them and understand things better. SVSSS I’ll stick with in my explanation, but essentially, it’s like… I dunno. Luo Binghe, the secondary protagonist who’s also somewhat of an antagonist, I relate to a lot. Basically he’s like my highest “kin” (kinning is identifying with or as a character. My kin list is very short compared to my friends and whatnot though), and I identify with him, his behavior, personality, and whatnot a lot. Not necessarily his trauma though, but I kind of get the trauma’s of him and like his betrayal by Shen Qingqui and stuff. Reading about him brings me great “comfort” in that I’m like, this is me, that’s me, and he gets to be pretty happy(?) in the end and I’m gonna get that too. The same thing actually goes for Wei Wuxian (MDZS protagonist) and Xie Lian (HOB protagonist), but they’re lower on my kin list but still on it nonetheless. I think these three books are comfort things because I basically identify with people in them and that’s a big thing for me.
Anyway, the perfect bookish comfort is reading my comfort novels in a field, like green grass, trees, warm and pretty in the evening. Like how it is in Salem in the summer/spring? So pretty to be honest. Like just lying there on a blanket in a field of green in like the early, late evening, reading while the sun sets and listening to music (probably lofi and jazzhop tbh).
“Listen, or you will be killed.”
Perhaps he had never quite been a good person. Perhaps it had been that exact moment that finally defined his behavior. The overarching final moment might have been what defined his actions. In general, maybe it was when he was young, watching the way the government operated. He did not quite care for it in any way, he knew he could do better. For this reason, he intended to do better; It would not take much for someone with his ability to destroy the government and bend it to his own will. He had discovered he was quite practically invincible, after all. He often asked himself, “What would they do against me?”
This moment proved his point exactly. Why should he listen to them? He was stronger than them, smarter than them. He could snap any person in this building like a twig.
The displays he often showed of his power did indeed say a lot, but despite this, he had always often been viewed as a villain, a bully, a bad guy. This was not quite true, he thought, after all, he was doing it to make Newcago a better place. All it took was one solid threat to his status, and he was done. One little piece of evidence, one little challenge, to remind him that maybe, just maybe, he was above them all. The instant it was revealed that he was not almighty, the instant this person stood against him, he was set steadfast in his choices. It was a wound on his arm, done by someone who he had viewed as lesser, not enough to hold the position they held. Steelheart watched them, his eyes shining with rage. Having been dealt the lower hand for his whole life, now, he was finally on top, and rightfully so. So why, why was this happening? Why was anyone allowed to acquire this position just through strength? He murmured to himself, “Why was I never told?” After all, he had been on top from day one. Top of his team, top of his grades. He acquired nothing from these things, as he was considered a bad person. So why was this man at the top when they were about the same?
The wound on his arm burned, or perhaps it was not too bad, if anything, what he truly burned with was anger. He set his jaw, teeth clenched. He took one step forward, then a second, then a third. In the direction of this person, whom had had control over the city from day one. Why? That did not seem right. Steelheart took this person by the throat, slamming them into the wall with great force. It was clear to him that they were now dead, within an instant, their neck snapped. But he somehow felt this was not enough.
The city hall was silent, there was not a noise. In this moment, the man felt power. No one made a move, giving off a tense air, one filled with fear and confusion. Caution. He stood tall, his back straight, his expression blank. There was not particularly any significant thought going through his head, save for one, loud and clear. “This really was for me.” A small hum came from deep in his throat as he turned to the surrounding people. The white hall was quiet, still, stagnant. The smell of blood permeating his nostrils was particularly interesting. Politicians, regular people, weaker epics all looked up the stairs at him with many mixed expressions. He turned, dropping the corpse of the mayor at his feet. “Now. Follow me, or you will be killed.”
- Introduce who you are as a reader.
I don’t quite know what to say in reaction to this? I don’t really know. I read when I want or when it looks good. Mostly, I read the same collection of books, or I find a new author that writes similar things and read those. For the most part, I read the same 3 books as what is one of my only healthy coping mechanisms.
- When did you first learn to read.
Good question I don’t have an answer to, I don’t remember anything before like 7th grade. So, I can’t quite help ya with that question.
- What was/were your favorite book(s)?
I think my favorite books might have been the Percy Jackson series? I genuinely don’t know the answer to that.
- Where do you like to read? What do you like to read today?
I read where I sleep, curled up on the floor next to my bedframe lol. I don’t sleep on my bed, I sleep in a pile of blankets and pillows and that’s generally where I read. Today, I like to read wuxia/xianxia novels. It’s a Chinese genre, essentially they’re like, cultivation novels. Like, essentially like taoist kind of but one of them has elements of fantasy and they’re typically well written. A lot of them, like Mo Dao Zu Shi, have inspired live action series and anime and stuff.
- Do you like to read many books at once, or just one at a time?
I read one at a time or else I’ll get confused lol. I don’t have a lot of brain power, so.
- What are your favorite types of books to read?
I already basically answered this question in one of the above paragraphs. 🙂
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