Suspense and word choice in a Freewrite

On a dark and dreary night there was a little girl, Abigail was her name, was out trick or treating with her father. As they were going along Abigail saw a path that led down into the old ruins of the town, So she said to her father “Father, may we please go down this here path to conclude the night?” Her father said “Alright, Abigail. Go on.” And so they went down the path, but there were no homes to knock at! When Abigail saw this she was very curious, and went further down the path, but stopped at the edge of the graveyard, for her father had said “Abigail!, don’t go any further until I catch up with you,” But she did not listen, she just kept going. When she was about half way into the graveyard her father caught her. “Abigail. I told you not to go any further!” But just as she was going to say something she heard a noise. This noise was high pitched and soft, like a whistle.

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